The Two Faces of Fear

fear - menningerYou know that when you first start replacing the old programming in your subconscious with new ideas, fear and doubt pop up. These vague, knee-jerk fears are just our subconscious mind’s way of telling us that the things we are thinking don’t mesh with what is already in there. Although that’s all they are, many people are stopped cold from following their dreams from a lack of understanding. Once we know what they are, though, we can more easily move through them and pass what is often called the “terror barrier.” Those are one kind of fear that we can face, and they are easily dealt with. There is another kind, however. It can be handled too, but it may take a little more effort.

Sometimes we will run into a more substantial fear. Often times when we have those periods of our progress slowing down, a little soul-searching will reveal to us a fear that we weren’t conscious of before. This fear will be standing in our way, impeding further progress. It must be dug out and faced before we can move forward in our growth.

The nature of these fears vary, but they usually fall into fairly standard categories. It could be a fear of relationships, a fear of success, or a more specific fear of money. Fear of money? Don’t laugh. It is so common there is a name for it: Chrometophobia.

Fear of Money

The fear of money does sometimes manifest as an actual fear of physical coins and bills, the same as some people are afraid of spiders. But more often it is a fear of our ability to handle money. If a person has never had money in any large amounts, he may be afraid that he will not know how to deal with it. He may be afraid that he will waste it all, make poor investments, or otherwise make a mess of the situation. He may also be afraid that money will change him, that it is somehow evil or wrong and possessing it will in turn make him evil. When it is written out that way it sounds silly, but these ideas are often implanted in people when they are young and if they aren’t faced can cause issues throughout life.

Fear of Success

A more generalized feeling is a fear of success. The person who fears success may fear that he will not be able to handle the stresses that he fears will come along with the success. He may have a fear of the social situations he will find himself in, and be afraid that he will embarrass himself through a lack of education or knowledge of etiquette. He may also fear that he will let success “go to his head” and cause him to make a fool of himself or distance him from his friends. Or he may fear that success, like the person who fears money, may make him into someone he doesn’t want to be.

Fear of Relationships

Sometimes the person who has been seeking to manifest a meaningful relationship is shocked to realize that he actually harbors a fear of the very thing he is looking for. This often takes the form of being afraid he will not be able to manage the relationship successfully and will end up “messing things up.” Perhaps he has been hurt in the past and is afraid of suffering the same pain in the future. Or possibly he is afraid that any new relationship will not measure up to a significant relationship from his past that he has set up in his mind as the ideal.

Handling the Fear

Whatever form these fears take, they are roadblocks to our growth and need to be dealt with. In some cases the problem is solved simply by identifying the fear and dragging it out into the light of day. Knowing that the fear is simply misunderstanding and ideas that have been beaten into our heads over time can be enough to dissolve it. In some cases we must make a little more effort. Just as we recognize our wrongly directed thoughts (getting out of debt, losing weight) and direct them in the proper way (thoughts of abundance, images of our ideal body), we must take our hidden fears and replace them with constructive affirmations. “I am comfortable with money”, “I handle success well”, “I am so happy in my new relationship” are some examples. In some cases, professional help may be required. If you feel your fear is something that you can’t face on your own, don’t hesitate to seek out a counselor to help you work through it.

Whatever method you take for dealing with your uncovered fear, remember this: “For God hath not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7 KJV) Repeat that to yourself over and over. Write it on your bathroom mirror. Put sticky-notes all over. Take that to heart. “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9 NIV) God is with you, God is in you, God made you with his own breath. You have nothing to fear. Simply know that whatever you need when your money, success or relationship manifests in order to handle them correctly will be supplied to you. You have nothing to fear…it will be ok!

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